Kymberly Foster Seabolt
Winner "Best Serious Column" National Newspaper Association 2017
Daily & Non-Daily Division Circulation of 12,000 or more
Honorable Mention "Best Humor Column" National Newspaper Association 2012
Daily & Non-Daily Division Circulation of 12,000 or more
Since debuting in July 2001, Kymberly Foster Seabolt’s weekly column has delighted a diverse and growing readership. A self-described professional writer and amateur human, she weaves her special brand of storytelling with humorous, poignant, and honest portrayal of parenting, marriage, home renovation, runaway goats and other hazards of modern life.
Her essays and features have appeared in numerous national and regional publications, including House Beautiful, Old House Chronicle, Salon, This Old House, Woman's Day Magazine, and Baby Steps, among others.
Her credentials include serving as a staff writer for Old House Chronicle and hipMama magazines and weekly columnist for The Farm and Dairy and The Imperfect Parent.
She is also the author of "A Dog Scorned" (in "Bad Dog Chronicles," Brown & Brown, Eds., 2000).
Fan Favorites
Choosing a favorite essay is like choosing a favorite child (it's our ShihTzu, Jack, sorry kids!) These are fan favorites.
Select Columns
Published weekly since 2001
The Great Port-A-Potty Triumph of 2018
August 23, 2018
“If you can’t be a good example, you should at least serve as a horrible warning.”
Joy of Marriage
February 9, 2017
It starts with hearts and flowers and breathless infatuation. It ends with not smothering a man in his sleep.
Declaring War on Mice
December 8, 2011
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Nature also abhors my getting a moment’s peace.
The First Cut is the Deepest
July 14, 2011
My nemesis is small but stealthy. It lurks under the model of health but, in fact, it’s a silent slayer of innocent flesh.
Elvis the Angry Christmas Angel
December 22, 2011
To answer the question of what would Elvis do? Judging from the look on his face, what Elvis would do is punch someone.
The Bats of Winter
February 16, 2012
I was minding my own business prepared to settle in for the night with my fuzzy socks, fluffy blankets and a good book when the sound of thumps and random bellows came from my son’s room. Above it all came the one, discernible battle cry: “BAT!”
Tiny Big Loves
November 16, 2017
If I perish soon it is likely to be from one of two causes. I will either be tripped by tangled leashes and plunge down a flight of stairs or I will be licked to death by small dogs.
Eagle Eye
June 14, 2015
If my son is successful at this, it will be in spite of me, not because of me.
Drop Me A Line!
Get in touch for more information about my essays, syndication and public speaking engagements. I am also open to any tips you may have on keeping these goats off my porch.